Cracker Jacks

Two storys, somehow related to Cracker Jacks, with the stipulation that a comma cannot appear anywhere within.

Ceahorse's

Taste-less Joy

Mom gave me a shiny Loonie. I wanted to buy something special with it. I racked my brain for what would be worth the loss of my new dollar. I’d need more then candy. I’d need more then a toy. I’d need candy and a toy. Cracker Jacks was the answer.
I tossed on my shoes and hit the streets. Cool but pleasant. I walked up St. Peter St with my coin in hand. Flipping it and catching it. I got to Mr. Wong’s convenience. Coin in hand. I had only dropped it twice.
I went in the door. Pull to enter. Mr. Wong stood behind his counter. Expressionless. I nodded but received nothing. I walked the aisles. Last minute hesitation. Box on the counter. Coin spinning to a stop beside it.
I thanked Mr. Wong and didn’t even get a smile. I hugged my treat and collected my change. No receipt.
Push to exit. I left the store and trotted home. I thought of eating my snack there on his stoop but I didn’t want to spill any of it. It was safer at my dinning room table.
Anxiousness. I swung my front door open. The door knob hit the wall. Father still hadn’t installed the spring door stop. Shoes sprawled and jacket on the floor.
I found my way to the dinning room table. I sat in my chair. We all had our spots. I carefully peeled open the box top. It was full to the brim. I began.
Each bite a single piece of heaven. The sweet coating. The crispy crunch. As I progressed though each piece I went further into a dream state. Ecstasy.
My body was soon eating by itself. The robot that was dreaming.
The dream ended with an empty box. I looked in. Nothing.
“Where was my toy?”
Panic. I ran to the telephone. Billy's phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Billy! I got an empty box.”
“Huh?”
“Cracker Jack. I ate it all and no toy.”
“Ahh!”
“What do I do?”
“Maybe you ate the toy!”
“Gotta go. Bye”
“See ya!”
I ran to the bathroom. Bottles and tubes falling and landing in the sink and on the floor. Found it. Ex-lax tablets. Three in my hand. Glass of water drained to wash them down. Waiting. Moping.
I waited for what seemed like a whole year. But it came. Gushing and flowing. Slight regret. Hands getting slimy. Worse regret. Dry heaves and inevitable vomit. Regret and no toy.
I found mother. She would know what to do. She would make them pay!!
“Mom”
“What’s that smell?”
“I didn’t get my toy.”
“What toy? Is that vomit?”
“Nah. My Cracker Jack toy!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I bought Cracker jack but there was no toy in it!”
“So?”
“There has to be a toy! That’s why I bought it”
“Did you like the candy?”
“Yea!”
“Did you eat it all?”
“Yea!”
“That’s life son. Sometimes we buy things and they aren’t what we expected. We have to try to learn…
Riding my bike.


Lion's

Bottom of the 4th

I was at a baseball game and got some crackerjacks. They’re no good. The caramel just sticks to your teeth. You also get those little kernel remnants stuck in your gums The worst part of popcorn. I just bought them for the prize. It’s a ritual.
I remember hearing stories of women being proposed to with a ring from a Cracker Jack box. I wonder if they put a ring in the box. If it was just the toy ring. Like the one on Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Audrey Hepburn is my dream girl. Anyway. Those proposals must have been a long time ago. The only prizes you get in a Cracker Jack box nowadays are little cartoons or fake tickets. Free admission to an ape parade. Free admission to Mt Everest.
If you were to propose a Cracker Jack ring now you’d have to make it yourself. A folded cartoon or ticket.
I got my cracker jacks in the bottom of the third. Matt Holiday was up to bat. That’s how I remember. He had popped out before and struck out before that. I opened the box and gave it to my kid. She was only seven at the time. She loved the stuff. I guess I did too when I was a kid.
I always ate them at the movies though. My sister took me to them I was a kid. She’s the one that started me on the Audrey Hepburn daze. I hate her and love for that. My first wife looked just like Audrey. Only fifteen years later. But she was a wild one. My kids are beautiful and crazy.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over four years now. May Webster. She’s no Audrey Hepburn. She’s beautiful though. Luckily she’s not crazy. I love her. My kids do too.
My daughter gave me the “prize” from the bottom. I tore the plastic wrapper off. It was a ticket for a trip around the sun and to the moon. I read it to my daughter. “I don’t want that.” I kept it in my hands. By the bottom of the fourth it was in the shape of a ring. I looked at my girlfriend. May smiled. “Would you?” I held out the ring. She smiled again. “For how long?” “Till the sun doesn’t shine on the moon.” “I’d love to.” And I put the my ring on her finger. I smiled. My kids smiled. It was bottom of the fourth.